The most important moments to a kid

By Mark Lane Submitted to Corner Post

What parent or grandparent can’t relate to being at a game or recital where the featured attraction is a cluster of children, most of whom don’t understand what they’re supposed to be doing? Not only can they not kick/hit/throw/shoot the ball well or hit the proper notes in time, but they also have no concept of strategy or rhythm. They frequently don’t even know which goal is theirs or where they are on a sheet of music. To make matters worse, “our kid” inevitably winds up playing with (or competing against) bigger kids with more experience. Ball fields and recital halls — where we sacrifice precious hours of our busy lives every season.

And then, as we glance back from checking our watch to see how much longer this will last, our kid’s eyes lock with ours. Her eyes light up or his smile beams back at us. “You’re watching me!” “You’re here just for me!”

So, we reconsider. What part of parenting isn’t sacrificial? Maybe chaos is the price for letting children experience fun over emphasizing rigid rules. And who’s keeping score? It’s the parents, not the kids. A 20 — 0 drubbing doesn’t bother a kid who just got a snack at the end of the game. And being off-key, off-pitch and out of sync doesn’t weigh on the child after the final applause.

We need to realize that the most important moments for our kids are when they sense that we treasure them. Our choice to be present speaks volumes. Pointing out that you saw them do something good, and being silent about flubs, will instill confidence. And self-confidence is an important trait as we learn and hone a wide variety of skills. Squatting down to get on their level and wrapping them in a hug is worth far more than gold to them.

Some day when they’re grown, a hug like that from them will be worth far more than gold to you, too.