Election thoughts from the Messanie Street Philosopher

By Alonzo Weston

Driving down the road Wednesday morning, I saw Bag-Head Jheri, the Messanie Street Philosopher, standing in front of the Dollar General store. He flagged me down and I stopped to hear what he had to say.

“Wassup Weston?” Bag said by way of greeting.

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” I said.

“Oh man, ‘dis election year gonna be a doozy,” Bag said while shaking his head.

“What do you mean, Bag?” I asked.

“Take this amendment or whatever to legalize sports gambling and the money going to the schools. We been down ‘dis road before with riverboat gambling money suppose to be going to the schools. Where ‘dat money at? Teachers still ain’t getting paid and there been no more new schools. Much people gamble nowadays, there should be money flowing out our schools,” Bag said.

“When I worked as a reporter I wrote about how the gambling money only made up for the shortfalls each year in the state funding formula,” I said.

“I’m all for teachers getting paid and supporting our schools but I don’t like to be bamboozled by faulty election claims,” Bag said.

“I know what you mean Bag,” I answered.

“Another thing about this abortion ban. I say we should make ‘bortions legal for cases like incest and rape and mother safety not for ladies to use it as birth control,” Bag said.

“I agree,” I said.

“These folks saying let these babies be born so as to be adopted are fools. Ain’t nobody adopting no babies here. They rather adopt kids from China and some other places,” Bag said.

“Seems that way,” I said.

“These folks care more about the unborn than they do when they living. Kids growing out of foster care are often homeless and some of ‘dese folks wanna cut funding to social services that can help these kids calling this help socialism,” Bag shot back.

“I agree,” I said.

“Then these same folks saying get our factory jobs back from China when we have job openings all over town because some folks don’t wanna work,” Bag said. “’Dey complain about foreigners taking our jobs when these folks do the jobs they don’t wanna do. The packing houses and factories that are left are filled by immigrants cause no able-bodied, so-called Americans wanna work,” Bag said.

“Yes, I overheard one young man say he was waiting on another government stimulus check and had no desire to look for work,” I groaned.

“Man, what kind of America we leaving for our kids? Bag said rhetorically as he walked away.