Man returns to Vietnam to find father’s gravesite 5 decades after Fall of Saigon

By Suzanne Phan

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    SAN FRANCISCO, California (KGO) — Many Vietnamese Americans have made a special trip back to their homeland recently. For some, it’s a homecoming and a heartfelt trip that often unpacks a lot of history and emotions.

David Bui of the Bay Area went back to Vietnam searching for his father’s gravesite. Bui’s father died in combat during the Vietnam War more than five decades ago.

As a hairstylist, David Bui has heard many personal stories from his clients. But now, Bui has his own story to share.

“I wanted to look for my father’s grave. He passed when I was barely 1-year-old. I never had any contact or any recollection of the grave,” said Bui.

Bui’s father –Lac Tho Bui- was a literature teacher in South Vietnam.

“He got drafted to the army. He was stationed in middle of the country, and he died in the war early on,” said Bui.

At the age only 26, Bui’s father was killed in combat fighting alongside America with the South Vietnamese army.

This past March, Bui returned to his homeland with his 80-year-old mom. He searched for his long-lost father with two photos as his only clues.

“I remember from the old photos that during the funeral we had to go through a rice field,” said Bui. It was an uphill battle – traveling through a country he barely knew.

“It’s a daunting task. I don’t know where to start,” said Bui.

BUI: “Along the way, I saw a few graves.”

SUZANNE: “What were you thinking when you saw that?”

BUI: “I thought, one of those could be my father. ‘Where do I start?'”

Bui and a friend went by scooter to a tiny village and asked around; They asked about rice fields and a bamboo grove they saw in the photographs of the funeral. Bui said the name of the village had changed several times through the years.

Eventually, Bui was directed to a large cemetery about 30 minutes outside of Nha Trang.

“We start walking thru the cemetery, but there are so many unmarked graves,” said Bui.

BUI: “There are unmarked graves.

SUZANNE: “That could have been your dad.”

BUI: “Yes.”

After a long search, Bui was on the verge of giving up.

“I didn’t know what to do,” said Bui. “I looked around. And there were graves that were unmarked with unknown people.”

Bui sat down on the edge of one grave to collect his thoughts. Then something incredible happened.

“From the distance, about 30 yards away, I spotted my father’s headstone with my father’s name on there. It was quite a shock, but I was elated at the same time that I had finally found it. I was speechless,” said Bui.

Bui was utterly amazed.

“There are so many different gravesites. All different sizes. And it was hard to spot unless I was sitting down at the place I was. It was the direct line of sight that I found it. It was such an incredible event. I don’t know how or what kind of brought me there,” he said.

SUZANNE: “It was almost miraculous.”

BUI: “Yes!”

Even the cemetery worker was stunned.

“She’s like this is amazing this is quite a spiritual moment,” said Bui.

Bui said finding his father’s gravesite felt like an impossible task.

“So, there’s an English saying ‘(It’s like trying to find) a needle in the haystack.’ And in Vietnamese, it’s ‘like trying to find a needle in an ocean.”

Bui immediately called his mother who was waiting five hours away with family.

Bui’s friend got video of Bui on the phone. “I’m saying, found my father’s grave. I found it,” said Bui.

“She’s like ‘oh, he finally found it!’ He found it miraculously!”

Together, Bui and mother had a proper memorial ceremony. Bui believes that moment was only possible because of divine intervention.

“As my friend Mark said, perhaps my father guided me there in spirit. I’m not a spiritual person, but now, since this thing happened to me. I believe it somehow. Somehow, he guided me there after so many years,” said Bui.

It has been half a century since the Fall of Saigon. Today, Bui has a family and a young daughter in the Bay Area.

“I would love for her to know where I came from, where her grandfather came from. I would love to tell her the story of my life,” said Bui. “Now, there is a sense of connection.”

It’s a connection to the past, a foundation for the future.

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