Utah Valley University students return to class one week after Charlie Kirk was killed on campus

By Lauren Mascarenhas, CNN

(CNN) — Students are returning to class Wednesday at Utah Valley University just days after prominent conservative activist Charlie Kirk was shot and killed at an event on campus, thrusting the community into the national spotlight.

Nyasha Paradzai, a UVU junior, said he was lined up in front of Kirk, waiting to debate him at the campus event, when he was killed.

“I was literally a few feet away from him and when the tragic shooting happened, I was squarely facing him, so I watched that unfold,” Paradzai told CNN in an interview Tuesday.

When Paradzai heard the pop from the shot that hit Kirk, the international student from Zimbabwe was confused. It was the first time he had ever heard a gunshot.

“In my world, you don’t hear guns,” Paradzai said.

“This was very new for me, not only to hear one, but to have it fired at someone right in front of you and have them bleed out in front of you was horrific,” he said.

Since that day, Paradzai said he’s been navigating “countless reminders of the event, countless things that have made me relive that.”

“Right now, I’m working to get that horrific image out of my head, because, you know, it’s almost every time you close your eyes, you see it again,” he said.

The somber task of returning to a campus that’s been host to deadly gun violence is an all-too-familiar experience for students in America.

The US has seen 47 school shootings this year alone – 24 of them on college campuses – which have left 19 people dead and at least 77 others injured, according to CNN’s analysis of events reported by the Gun Violence Archive, Education Week and Everytown for Gun Safety.

Paradzai said the targeted shooting has not necessarily shaken his sense of safety or pride in his school, he just hopes it will not embolden others to act in violence towards voices they differ with.

Paradzai is one of approximately 45,000 students who attend Utah Valley University, located in Orem, about 40 miles from Salt Lake City, making it the largest university in the state.

It’s an open-admissions university that boasts a welcoming attitude towards all kinds of students, guests and ideas. “UVU: A place for you,” the university’s tagline reads.

Despite its size, students say UVU hasn’t really been on the national radar, often overshadowed by the state’s big-name universities with high profile athletics teams.

That is, until last week.

After a dayslong manhunt, the suspect accused of killing Kirk was arrested and formally charged Tuesday with aggravated murder, among other offenses. Now the university is reopening its doors to students, with counseling and other support services for a shaken community.

“I don’t think it’s going to be something that we are going to forget overnight. It’s something that we’re going to have to grapple with for the next couple of weeks, months, maybe for the next couple of years,” Paradzai said.

‘I couldn’t stop shaking’

UVU junior Tiana Lao attended the event with her close friend and roommate. They were just feet away from Kirk when he was shot, Lao told CNN.

“Both me and my friend can still hear the gunshot clearly in our minds. We can’t get it out of our heads. It’s something that we can’t forget,” Lao said.

Lao and her friend returned to campus on Friday to fulfill one of the many media interview requests that had come in since the incident.

“I thought I was going to be fine until I got there,” she said. “My hands – I couldn’t stop shaking. And my heart was racing.”

In the minutes and hours following the shooting, graphic, close-up videos of the moment Kirk was hit promulgated across the internet. Seeing those videos again and again has elicited a visceral reaction Lao said she wasn’t expecting.

“I just think, if I’m feeling this way, if I’m getting this type of response – I was only sitting a few feet away from him – I can only imagine how it must have felt for those that were right in front of him,” she said.

Lao said she believes security could have been tighter on the day of Kirk’s appearance and is hoping the university will be ramping up safety measures as students return to class with the eyes of the nation on them.

Lao said she hasn’t been able to think clearly since the shooting.

“I’m just worried that the same thing is going to happen to me again as when I saw those videos and went back to campus. I’m just scared that I’m not going to be able to focus as well. I’m worried that I’m going to be too shaky, and my heart is going to be racing again.”

Thankfully, the university has been “relaxed” when it comes to those who need accommodations like extensions on assignments in light of the incident, she said.

Lao said she’s currently not on speaking terms with some friends who celebrated Kirk’s death.

“I feel like I’m personally connected to this event. I was there, so it just makes me sad that people are celebrating,” she said.

Despite her shaking hands and racing heart, when classes resume on campus Wednesday, Lao said she’ll be there.

“I really do want to get back to how it was before,” she said.

‘The most peaceful place on campus’

Erik Nystul, a UVU faculty member, returned to campus Monday, when faculty gathered for a virtual town hall to discuss how to support students moving forward.

As director of government internships for the university’s Herbert Institute of Public Policy, Nystul’s office overlooks the courtyard where Kirk was killed.

“When I arrived on campus, I wished that it was empty, that there was no signs that anything had ever happened there,” Nystul told CNN Tuesday. “But we can’t go back in time.”

As he works towards a master’s in public administration from UVU, Nystul also serves as an instructor to students, who he sometimes sees from his office window, resting, talking, napping in the sun. As a UVU alumni himself, he has his own memories in that courtyard.

“What I love about that courtyard is when all is normal, we have a fountain – I love it because you could be outside when the weather’s nice, and it kind of cancels out all the noise,” he said. “It becomes just the most peaceful place on campus.”

The university is working to restore that sense of peace. In addition to counseling and support services, a “Vigil for Unity” is scheduled for Friday.

“Together we will mourn. Together we will heal. And together we will move forward to restore a safe and supportive environment for every member of this campus and community,” UVU President Astrid S. Tuminez wrote in a letter to the campus community shared with CNN.

In Monday’s town hall, Tuminez stressed that faculty should be showing “exceptional care” to students in the wake of the shooting, Nystul said.

Faculty discussed options to ease the burden for students impacted by the shooting, including delaying or canceling assignments, adjusting curriculum, offering online learning options and more, he said.

When it comes to tightening security, the university may have to consider a backdrop of increasing political violence when hosting guest speakers in the future, Nystul noted.

“We’ve never had to check for snipers before,” he said.

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