What happens after ‘thoughts and prayers’? These religious leaders have an answer

By Madeline Holcombe, CNN

(CNN) — Offering “thoughts and prayers” after a tragedy may sound insufficient, said Father Chris Collins, a Jesuit priest and vice president for mission at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Minneapolis mayor Jacob Frey expressed a similar point of view on Wednesday after two children were killed and 14 others and two elderly parishioners were injured when a shooter fired through the windows of a church during first week of class at Annunciation Catholic School.

“Don’t just say, ‘This is about thoughts and prayers right now.’ These kids were literally praying,” Frey said at a press conference on the scene. “They should be able to go to school or church in peace without the fear or risk of violence, and their parents should have the same kind of assurance.”

Politicians and public figures often offer their thoughts and prayers in the aftermath of tragedy –– particularly mass shooting incidents. And the phrase can quickly spark contentious debate, as many argue that the phrase is just a way to shut down conversation when very little has been done to prevent further American gun violence. The phrase has become a commonly understood meme for empty platitudes.

“The unfortunate thing is, thoughts and prayers that get said all over the place and very often becomes, in some ways, something that’s thrown out there to make it seem like you care when you don’t really care,” said the Very Rev. Sarah Hurlbert, dean of the Cathedral of All Souls, an Episcopal church in Asheville, North Carolina. The cathedral was inundated and extensively damaged by floodwaters from Hurricane Helene in September 2024.

However, in the immediate aftermath of something horrible, when everyone feels helpless, prayer can be a good place to go at the start, said Collins. And depending on how you understand them, prayers can be a powerful tool in times of difficulty, religious leaders know.

Connection to one another

When Collins arrived at Church of St. Peter Claver in Minneapolis after this week’s shooting at Annunciation, he found people in the pews, sitting together in silent prayer.

“It was beautiful –– really so simple, but beautiful,” he said. “In the moment, what else are you going to do? What else can you do, but be together and let God be with us too?”

Connecting with God in that way can be one of the primary intentions of prayer, as well as connecting with a feeling of love, said Rev. Janet Maykus, transitional senior pastor of the United Christian Church in Austin, Texas.

“The idea is that we believe that we are all connected, and that as we lift prayers for other people… we’re made more expansive, we are able to hold things that we didn’t know we could hold emotionally,” she said.

To say, “I am praying for you,” can also be like a promise to be present with another person in their struggle, said Dr. Shelly Rambo, professor of theology at Boston University.

One form of prayer could translate to meaning, “I promise to stay with you and hold you in all of the hope that faith claims,” Rambo said.

That promise can mean acknowledging a situation as terrible and important, and the person praying can serve as someone else standing by someone who is in a hard situation, she added.

Pledging to stay with another person in your thoughts and hold compassion and hope for them is even more powerful when it is followed by commitment, Rambo said.

‘Prayer works because it changes us’

Different faiths –– and even different denominations or sects of the same faith –– may have different understandings of the purpose of prayer.

For some people, praying is asking God to change something in the world. But Maykus of the United Christian Church in Austin, Texas, offers a different perspective. She preaches to her congregation that prayer is intended to change a person internally.

“The power of prayer is like meditation or something else. It’s the more I pray, the more I’m changed,” she said.

When she prays for people who are unhoused, Maykus said, she doesn’t think God will create more places for people to go. Instead, she finds that the prayer draws attention to what is important to her, and she starts to think about what she can do to create the changes she hopes to see.

“I believe prayer works because it changes us,” said Rev. Shannon Johnson Kershner, senior pastor at Central Presbyterian Church in Atlanta. “What prayer can do is give us the ability to see not just the news stories but the people who are actually involved in them, and to figure out how we can be present.”

“Prayer gives us the vision to see everyone as God’s beloved,” Kershner said, “and then it motivates us into acting that out in the way we live our lives and the way we use our resources.”

Pairing prayer with action

For people who do not practice a prayer tradition, offering “thoughts and prayers” can sound like no one is going to do anything about the hardship or wrongdoing.

That doesn’t have to be the case. “Actually, I think that the biblical understanding of those things is that that means that we’re required to act out of it,” Kershner said.

Prayer can be important before taking action to solve a problem, Hurlbert said. It can be helpful to take a moment and ground yourself in compassion to make sure you are being attentive to the person who needs it, she added.

“If you skip one and go to the other, we mess up very quickly,” Hurlbert said.

Conversely, praying without actually getting involved or participating in the community misses the opportunity for healing, she added. That can look like meals, childcare or even continuing to check in emotionally with those directly affected.

“Thoughts and prayers are really important, but God also gave us brains and ways to use our bodies for service,” Kershner added.

At a Wednesday press conference, Matthew DeBoer, Annunciation’s principal, called on the community to work toward no other family having to go through the loss of children to a shooting again.

“There is an African proverb that says, ‘When you pray, move your feet,’” he said. “I beg you, I ask you to please pray, but don’t stop with your words. Let’s make a difference and support this community, these children, these families, these teachers –– never again can we let this happen.”

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