Alonzo Weston

Cruising down Messanie Street, I spotted a familiar figure walking down the sidewalk near 17th Street. It was none other than Bag-Head Jheri, the Messanie Street philosopher, where I first met him years ago.

I pulled over.

“Wassup, Bag, haven’t seen you in a long while. Folks been asking about you,” I said.

“Been hangin’ in and staying low, brother, outta this heat,” Bag said.

“What brings you back down on Messanie Street?” I asked.

“Come to see this new dollar store being built here in the hood,” Bag said.

“Isn’t that great having some new construction in the area that people been complaining about?” I said.

“Well now it’s going on, but after it goes up we gotta keep the bustas away from stealing and vandalizing the place,” Bag said. “Gotta put them fools on blast. They killing the neighborhood.”

“That’s true. You know it’s funny, I remember there have been three or four houses, two bars and a barbershop in this little stretch of block where they are building. Ain’t that something? ” I said, shaking my head.

“Yeah and they was shooting, stabbing and fighting most weekends here, but we handled our business,” Bag said.

“What else has been going on, Bag?” I asked.

“Wondering if this town is going nuts with all the crime and stuff,” Bag said. “And people worrying about abortion and drag queens.”

“Yeah?” I asked, quizzically.

“No one is for abortion but a woman’s right to her own body,” Bag said. “These same people against abortion are for capitol punishment and when these nonaborted kids grow up they wanna cut social services to them and adopt from other countries.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but kids from Asia and other places need adopting too,” I tried to reason.

“I know that, and another thing, why these folks getting worked up over drag queens reading to children at the library but not a clown in the White House?” Bag said.

“Come on, Bag, the president has done some good things,” I said.

Like what? Dividing the country?” Bag shot back.

“He got things done on a bipartisan level, such as criminal justice reform, opioid and sex trafficking legislation and secured the release of 19 people, including 16 Americans, from foreign captivity. I know I don’t like his morality, but we gotta be fair,” I said.

“So you can be a racist jerk and grab women if you do a few good things too?” Bag said.

“I guess. So the rules have changed, I guess. Morality in the White House doesn’t matter now like it did when Clinton was there,” I said.

“And people worrying about cross-dressers reading to kids in a library when climate change, species extinction and other bad things are going on,” Bag said. “We destroying our planet, but a cross-dresser reading matters more.”

“I don’t think you can compare those things, Bag,” I said.

“Why not? If we concerned so much about our kids then we need to make sure there’s a world still left for them in the future, Bag said.

“That’s true,” I said.

“And we got some churches wanting equal right to read to kids after the drag queen did as if it’s tit for tat. It’s about acceptance, what Jesus preached,” Bag said. “Let me get outta here before I really get mad and say some things.”

With that, Bag walked away.

Alonzo Weston can be reached


Follow him on Twitter: @SJNPWeston.