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Men and women cannot be friends. Can’t do it. The idea that heterosexual men and women are able to have a pure, platonic relationship is a myth. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Coming together

The hardest thing to get used to was the spaghetti. In my household and that of other black families, we mixed the pasta, sauce and hamburger all together in a big pot to make spaghetti. When my wife, Deanna, and I got together, I saw she cooked the pasta and sauce separate like they did in many white households and restaurants. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Money matters

When men think they outnumber women they tend to be less frugal. That’s the finding from a study on personal finance reported in a recent USA Today article. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Flowers, candy and guilt

alentine’s Day and Groundhog Day seem to blur together for me anymore. When you’ve been doing this Valentine’s Day stuff for more than 40 years like I have, you come to the same realization Bill Murray did in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day.” You’re pretty much doomed to spend the rest of your life doing the same thing each year. Send flowers. Buy candy. Go to dinner and a movie. It never changes. Unlike the movie, no matter how many times you do it, you never get it right. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Year-end reflections

It’s funny how I used to look forward to New Year’s Eve. My wife, Deanna, and I used to look for the best New Year’s Eve party bargain at a bar or hotel in Kansas City. With each passing year, we’ve inched closer to home. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Not my bag

A few times my wife has asked me if I like a pair of shoes or a purse some other woman is wearing. Not knowing if it’s a loaded question or not, I’m never sure how to answer it. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Date night

Popular folklore wisdom says there’s only one day a year when it’s OK for women to pursue men. That day, Sadie Hawkins Day, falls on Nov. 9 this year. ... Read more

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Men's trends

It’s beginning to look a lot like 19th century Europe around here. Most every guy you see nowadays is sporting a beard or some other type of facial hair. I see spitting images of Benjamin Disraeli, Charles Dickens and Karl Marx in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping ... Read more

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Average Joe: Hedging marital bets

My wife, Deanna, and I lived together for 13 years before we got married. For a long time I was afraid to tell anyone that because the guy never looks good in that story. People tend to look at you like you’re some vainglorious creep who think’s he’s too good for marrying. ... Read more

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Average Joe: A friend indeed

I cringe whenever I think about the time I stayed late at a friend’s house on his anniversary and then tried to get him to go out. But I’m proud of the times I’ve been there when a friend needed someone to tell him that he was better off without the girl who left him. ... Read more

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Average Joe: It’s a new world

Now you’re a single dad. And you’ve no doubt by now found out that it isn’t the same as just being single or just being a dad. It’s about straddling the two worlds of dating and parenthood and finding a balance. You’re only a dad and you’re only as single as visitation allows. ... Read more

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Average Joe: Tying the knot

It’s June and like a lot of other once-single men, you’re getting married. No more hanging out late with your buddies. No more beer for breakfast. No more being the general slob you are. ... Read more

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Zero-sum game

A woman recently wrote a book on manning up. In “Manning Up: How the Rise of Women has Turned Men Into Boys,” author Kay S. Hymowitz laments the shortage of good men. I haven’t read the book but have seen a number of reviews and articles about it. ... Read more

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Spring passion

Spring is finally here. Like other mammals, you gorged yourself and slept through the winter only to arise now from your hibernation to seek out the vernal pleasure of companionship. Birds are doing it, bees are doing it -- every creature on Earth is hooking up now. So why not you? ... Read more

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Old-school men

There are just some men who hold on to the earlier tradition of maleness and others who embrace the new masculinity. ... Read more

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Token affection

A few weeks from now, guys will scramble to get that special woman in their lives a commercial token of their affection. It’s not enough that he’s shown genuine love through various acts during the year. ... Read more

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A better you

Last year at this time you were sitting on the same bar stool, in the same drunken state, vowing to be a better man. A year later you find nothing has changed. You still drink too much, eat too much and don’t work out. ... Read more

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Male vs. female

A recent Newsweek magazine cover claims that the traditional male is an endangered species. The words “Man Up” are shouted out in big black and red letters. The illustrative photo shows a bareback man holding a polo-shirt-wearing young boy in his arms. ... Read more

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Split allegiance

Abe Lincoln once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” That makes me wonder how some houses where one partner is a Republican and the other is a Democrat stay standing. ... Read more

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